SNL’s latest cold open once again brought Alec Baldwin back to play Donald Trump and talk impeachment, this time giving America the impeachment trial the show claims it wanted to have rather than the one that actually played out. This one eschewed the Supreme Court justice John Roberts overseeing the trial in favor of a more familiar judge for many Americans.
Kenan Thompson’s Judge Mathis took over the impeachment proceedings, and started by asking Lindsey Graham if his stumping for Trump will be judged poorly in history books.
“Where I come from we have our own history books and on the cover a T-rex is handing a confederate flag to Jesus,” Kate McKinnon’s Graham said.
Mathis then called John Bolton, who was asked why he’s coming forward with details of his time in the Trump Administration at this exact moment.
“Because I’m a messy bitch who loves drama,” Bolton said, revealing the title of his book, “Harry Potter And The Room Where It Happened.”
Mathis then called Hunter Biden, played by Pete Davidson, entering the courtroom while vaping on a hoverboard.
“You’re not going to believe this, but my schedule was wide open,” Biden, as Davidson, said.
Alec Baldwin was back to reprise his role as Donald Trump, who entered the courtroom with a walker a la Harvey Weinstein.
“My defense is I’m very sick, your honor,” Trump said. “I’m guilty, but it ain’t no thang.”
The Democratic response wasn’t very convincing, so Mathis called My Cousin Vinnie to no avail. And that allowed Trump’s closing statement to basically admit to a bunch of crimes, then set up a brief musical number for the men defending him in front of the American people. It was certainly more entertaining than the actual impeachment trial from a television standpoint, but it also did little to actually punish Trump for any of the House convicted him of, either.