Gloucester rugby fly-half Danny Cipriani has spoken out on his depression diagnosis, and how he had considered buying a gun to end his own life. The former England international opened up on his own mental health battle, after the death of ex-girlfriend Caroline Flack.
In an emotional video posted to his 213,000 Instagram followers, the 32-year-old explained how he had to receive counselling at a young age.
Cipriani arranged to buy a gun on a number of occasions, he revealed, in order to take his own life.
But, the fight in him stopped him from agreeing to buy the firearm, before the dealer sold the information to the media.
Cipriani urged the public not to listen to what others are saying about them, and that there’s nothing wrong with feeling vulnerable.
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“I have to tell this story… I have rehearsed this so much in my mind,” said Cipriani.
“Someone that I loved as a person very dearly, and someone I was very close to, has decided to take her own life, as everyone knows.
“I told her all the things I was embarrassed and shameful about.
“I’m telling everybody now what my most embarrassing and shameful moments are, because I know she knew I had the strength to do this.
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“When I was 22, I was going through severe depression.
“I was seeing a psychiatrist, and I had to keep turning up, keeping playing as my mum has taught me. I love her for that, because that is how you get over things; one part of it.
“I decided at a point it was time for me to take my own life.
“I tried to buy a gun, and I pulled out of it. I tried to buy one and pulled out of it. This went on for two months and I couldn’t do it, because I had some fight in me.
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“I’m trying to say it’s okay to be vulnerable, and that it doesn’t matter what people are saying about you.
“I’ve worried my whole life. I don’t care anymore.
“What I’m trying to say is we all have vulnerable moments, and we all have moments of weakness.
“I’ve heard that said hundreds of time but I truly understand it now.”
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Cipriani was speaking after the death of his ex-girlfriend, and good friend, Caroline Flack.
A lawyer for her family confirmed last week that she had taken her own life at her flat in east London.
It’s crucial that you speak to a doctor if you think you may be depressed. The most common symptoms of clinical depression include having a continuous low mood, having low self-esteem, feeling irritable, and disturbed sleep patterns.
For confidential support call the Samaritans in the UK on 116 123 or visit a local Samaritans branch.
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